Who Makes the Call?

Deciding when and what your child should play.

The Lord will help you make the right decision for your child.

When legendary basketball star, Pistol Pete Maravich, was growing up in the 1960s, he would beg his father, a college basketball coach, to let him join a youth basketball league. Pistol Pete’s dad delayed allowing his son to play organized basketball until Pete had begged long enough. The rest is history. Pistol Pete had one of the most remarkable basketball careers ever played. Now, I’m not advocating for making your children beg, but when my two sons came to me wanting to sign up for the local football league when they were both 7 years old, I told them to work on passing and catching the football, and when they turned 10—if they still wanted to play—I’d sign them up. That plan seemed to work for our family and the boys thrived in their football experiences.

Helping your child decide when and what to play may be one of the more important decisions during their formative years. Here are a few common scenarios:

1. The child doesn’t show any interest in playing sports.

2. The child wants to sign up for every sport, but never wants to finish a season.

3. The child adjusts seamlessly in the competitive sports environment.

4. The parent is pushing his/her child to participate before the child is ready. Every child has their own internal time clock when it comes to their readiness for organized sports. And let’s face it: Not everyone is made to play organized sports.

Here’s some reasons for encouraging your child to play organized sports:

• Young children need to learn how to navigate environments when things don’t always go their way. Youth sports provide that kind of environment.

• Young children need to learn how to keep their emotions under control (e.g., not throw a tantrum) when they encounter difficulties like not winning or not scoring the goal or basket. Youth sports will help.

• Young children need to know they are not the center of the universe. Youth sports will instill this in your child.

• Young children need to be trained how to cooperate with others (it doesn’t come naturally). The sports team environment can help.

This benefits list doesn’t include the myriad of qualities like competition, perseverance, focus, toughness, facing fears, courage, unselfishness, etc.—all virtues most parents want to see exhibited by their children. Sports is one of the best places for your child to learn all these great life lessons.

So, who decides when it’s the right time? Ideally, both the parent(s) and child will be in agreement. Unfortunately, many times, one person is not totally on board. The first step in a healthy youth sports experience is unity among Dad, Mom and kid. (The single parent might solicit help from a family member or friend at church in making these decisions.) There are so many great introductory sports options for your child, you should be able to find one that fits your child’s physical, mental and emotional maturity. Choosing the right sport is equally important. Obviously, the more physical contact required by the sport, the more mature the child should be before starting sports like tackle football, wrestling, ice hockey, etc. Some parents will need to help their child decide when they need to step up their game by moving to a more competitive environment. This would apply to club sports more so than school sports. Some thrive with greater competition whereas some may never recover from being rushed into more competitive sports environments. Being a big fish in a small pond versus being a small fish in a big pond is a decision that needs parental guidance. The Bible verses for this lesson should help you.

Many parents must overcome their own fears of sports before allowing their children to participate: fear of injuries to their child; fear their child will not succeed or be included; fear their child won’t make the team. These are legitimate concerns all parents must determine before encouraging their children to play sports. There are risks to almost any activity for our children. Be wise not to replace a risky sport with another activity that is even more unhealthy for your child’s development. If you commit this decision to God, He will give you guidance. Pray for that guidance as you consider the Bible verses provided.

Bible Study

1. How do these Bible verses help you make parenting decisions? Give the specific verse/verses.

2. What is something you learn about God or His attributes from these Bible verses? (Remember to use James 1:5 at the beginning of this lesson.)

3. How does 1 Peter 5:7 bring comfort to you when making big decisions concerning your children?

4. What is the big idea or main takeaway you get from these Scriptures?

Practice Session

• If you are in the process of determining the when and what of your child participating in organized sports, do you have any friends you trust who have already signed up their children for organized sports? Can you ask to talk with them about it? Make a list of two or three friends to have that conversation.

(Nearly 10 years ago, a young mother talked with my wife about the fears she had in allowing her twin sons to play high school football. My wife encouraged her NOT to prohibit them from playing football if they really wanted to play. That mother of twins just saw us for the first time since that conversation a decade ago and informed us of the wonderful experience her twins have had… they just completed four years of playing college football. She thanked my wife for her wise counsel years ago.)

• Talk with your spouse or a trusted friend about any unhealthy fears you bring to this decision that come from your own sports experience as a child. Be open and honest about those fears. Be careful not to let your children inherit your unhealthy fears about playing sports.