PURELY HIS
Purity. It seems like such a high standard. In a world filled with question marks and compromise, it’s hard to even know what that means, let alone uphold it as a daily lifestyle. But God asks us to remain pure, specifically regarding sex, for a reason—several, in fact. And who better to write the book on purity than the One who did, in fact, write the book on purity? If we are willing to seek Him on the matter and commit to following His ways, we’ll be blessed far beyond the substitutes and short-term pleasures this world offers as a reward for compromise.
What is your personal definition of purity, and what are your standards for it?
Where do you get those standards?
THINK IT THROUGH
Before we can start talking about the how’s and why’s of sexual purity, we need to talk about what it is according to God’s standards. Purity itself means being without blemish or fault—completely clean—as was the case with the animals used to make sacrifices to atone for the sins in the Old Testament. They had to be perfect—pure—in order to be worthy of a holy God. That’s why Jesus was the only One worthy of being sacrificed for our sins. Because He was pure.
Since our goal here on earth is to become like Christ (2 Corinthians 3:18) and to show the world a picture of the Savior so that they will come to know Him for themselves, we, too, are called to walk in purity. By our example, others will get to see a beautiful picture of the God who loves them and knows a higher and better way for them to live. His ways of purity and righteousness are the paths that lead to peace, joy, life and health, and with our lives of purity, we get to be a powerful example of His way.
So, you see, God’s desire for us to remain pure isn’t just so He can make us feel awkward at parties or keep us from having fun with our boyfriends. It’s because He wants to (A) show Himself to the world through us and (B) protect us from the heartache and pain that comes when we sacrifice our purity.
How does our purity reveal Christ to the world?
When do you struggle most with maintaining your purity? Why?
To better understand purity, we need to know about sex according to God’s design. Sexual purity was God’s intent from the beginning, and it was a high and good standard that fit with His plan for marriage.
In this sacred union between a man and a woman, great intimacy could be shared because it was inside a committed, covenant relationship. Sex was designed to be a key part of that union, as it involved two people becoming one flesh (Ephesians 5:31). The intimacy involved in sex was so powerful and lovely that it had to be reserved for marriage.
Now, because God doesn’t change, His plan for sex and marriage hasn’t changed, either. It is still designed for husbands and wives who choose to commit to Him and each other and to serve as the representation of His loving, sacrificial commitment to His people.
Sex is part of something sacred and holy—something that is to be cherished, protected and prized. And that’s how we as Christians should view it.
Unfortunately, many of us have joined the world in mishandling sex. We’ve either cheapened it like the vast majority or demonized it out of fear and lack of spiritual understanding. To be fair, either trap is easy to fall into. Unless we’ve intentionally studied God’s view of marriage and sex or have been around mature Christians who comprehend it, we’re likely to take the world’s perspective or avoid it altogether.
What are your views on sex? Are they most in line with the world's view, the views of feat or God's Truth?
Any interpretation of sex other than through God’s design is dangerous.
First, when we cheapen sex and fall in line with the voice of the world, we believe that sex isn’t as big of a deal as God makes it out to be. Famed artist Andy Warhol so aptly summarized pop culture’s message on sex when he said that sex was “the biggest nothing of all time.” While it may seem like sex is glorified and worshipped in pop culture, it’s actually stripped of its sacred value and made common when it’s thrown around so casually in music, movies, TV and such. If we, then, start adopting that mindset regarding sex—believing that it’s nothing more than a pleasurable, exciting hobby and that it should be experienced frequently and without pause—we fall into destructive behaviors that steal away what God had intended for us (and our future husband) as special and holy. Some behaviors seen in the life of a woman who rejects (or simply compromises) God’s standards for sexual purity can include immodest dress, excessive flirting, sexual experimentation, vulgar or questionable media consumption, and, of course, premarital sex.
So does that mean that we have to be covered up in burlap bags from head to toe and sit at home every weekend to maintain our purity and avoiding being compromised by the world? No.
Though, sadly, that’s the mindset many Christians have adopted over the years. And it’s likely where the assumption originated that Christians think sex is evil, which is not the case at all! When we fully understand the value of sex and the divine nature of it, we see it as a gift from God that is to be prized and protected—something of far more value than the world can understand because it doesn’t understand God. He designed it as a powerful force to be experienced and enjoyed in marriage and to be a vehicle through which He brings new life. It’s absolutely beautiful, and we know it. Women, this is why we should fight to defend our purity. Our sexuality is something God gave us to share with our husbands in a committed, godly relationship that reveals Him to the confused world around us. Sex isn’t cheap, and neither are we! We should—and have every right to choose to—reserve it for the man who will love us like Jesus loved the Church: completely, boldly, sacrificially and with loyalty, wisdom and strength. That man, when God leads him to make us a bride, will be capable of holding our hearts and becoming one with us in the holy way God designed.
THE WORD
God’s Word is filled with wisdom regarding sex and purity. The entire book of Song of Solomon is a picture of godly romance and should be studied for further understanding. For now, though, let’s examine some of the other many Scriptures that offer Truth on this topic.
First, since the world will tell you that sexual promiscuity is no big deal, read these verses and be reminded of the fact that it is, in fact, a sin:
• 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, 18
Now let’s take a look at verses that show God’s design for sex.
• Read Genesis 1:28. What does God’s first instruction to Adam and Eve tell us about sex?
• Read Matthew 19:5-6. What does this indicate about the power of sex?
• Now read Genesis 2:18-25. Adam and Eve—the first husband and wife—were naked and unashamed. How is this different than the feelings of a woman who wakes up naked in a strange bed after a night of partying? Why is there such a difference?
So, what is our aim regarding purity? There may not be black and white instructions outside of abstaining from sex outside of marriage, but there are key guidelines. Read these verses and record what each says about how we should conduct ourselves.
• Romans 12:1-2, 13:14
TAKEAWAY POINT:
Ladies, when we compromise our purity, we rob ourselves of God’s highest and best for us. He gave us our sexuality to be enjoyed in the covenant of marriage with a man who is willing and able to love us like Christ. No one else deserves that from us. No one else is worthy of receiving this prized possession.
God made you valuable, and anyone who gets to experience intimacy with you needs to be aware of the treasure he’s receiving. Settling for anything less will be accepting a knockoff of the holy gift of God.
NOTE: Statistics show that roughly 80% of high school seniors report being sexually active by the time they graduate. If you’re in this group and have already experienced sex outside of marriage remember Romans 8:1 that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. He loves you and will forgive and restore you (1 John 1:9). It’s possible to begin again with the Lord who removes your sins as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). See the Bold & Beautiful study on Shame for more.
TEAM TIME
Now it’s time to come back together and discuss the topic of godly purity.
In a group setting, there are women who have both kept and released their virginity. Be mindful of the fact that God loves and treasures each of you, and that nothing of the past can change that. Work together, knowing you are on the same team—spiritually and literally—and help each other get to a place of wisdom, courage and peace regarding purity.
ACTIVITY:
Opening up a dialog about purity. Discuss what the word purity means to you, where you get your standards for it and how diligent you are at sticking to those standards.
Now, using a flipchart or whiteboard, write three headings at the top: Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually. Under each heading, list the ways purity is beneficial in those areas of your lives.
Now, do the same thing listing the ways compromising purity is harmful in each area.
Based on this exercise and the Scriptures you've read, discuss why God instructs us to live lives of purity.
Create a list of ways women—specifically female athletes—can demonstrate purity in their lives. Include things like dress, speech, lifestyle, etc. (Keep in mind that this is not a legalistic set of rules, but a way to get a mental picture of a godly woman who walks in purity.)
It’s time to get real and vulnerable. If you have a large group, consider breaking into smaller groups of three or four. In each group, allow each woman to share any personal struggles in the area of purity. As she shares, respond to her by using Scripture reminding her of God’s Truth regarding forgiveness, grace, love, restoration, etc.
Return to your group and discuss any breakthroughs that were made. Finish with the question, “What is God saying and how will you respond?”
WORK IT OUT
Your assignment this week is to help each other walk in purity and to make it part of your team atmosphere. Choose one or more of the following activities to do between now and your next study.
As a team, create a purity agreement that all members can sign. Write a statement or contract outlining what standards you will uphold and specifically how you will live them out.
Commit to fasting from sexually impure media and pop culture for the week and then discuss among the team how this affected you.
Memorize one of the verses from this study and recite it to each other throughout the week.
Read through Song of Solomon and discuss it together. Use trusted resources to help you.
RALLY CRY:
Once you have your plan of action, couple it with this week’s Bold and Beautiful Rally Cry. As a team, this will be your power phrase for the week. Repeat it when lies come to your mind; write it on your athletic tape; say it to each other; and remember the verse behind it.
“STAY PURE!”
1 TIMOTHY 4:12