READY
“There is one who speaks rashly, like a piercing sword; but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” - Proverbs 12:18
SET
Ever hear the expression, words are free? It is free to put words out there, but words can really cost the heart. Wouldn’t you want your spouse especially to be impacted by your words? Will your words ignore, hurt or build up the heart of your spouse? Either we invest in loving someone with words or we divest or damage with words.
Think of the first speech Adam made before Eve. “This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23a). He communicated worth, bonded with Eve and praised God. Then look at his second recorded communication after he and Eve chose to eat the forbidden fruit. “The woman you gave to be with me – she gave me some fruit from the tree and I ate” (Genesis 3:12). It did not take long for Adam to divest and damage with words, did it?
Our hearts shape words that are helpful or hurtful. Our flesh (even with new life in Jesus) remembers well how to sin with words. I have been shocked by the words that have escaped my mouth in marriage. I cannot get them back, but I can set a course to strengthen my marriage by setting a flesh-crucifying, Spirit-filling path leading to words that glorify God.
The Holy Spirit guides us into all truth (John 16:13). Just as significantly, the Holy Spirit glorifies the Son, Jesus Christ (John 16:14). Here is the fantastic theological takeaway: If we rely upon the Holy Spirit in marriage, we will live out truth and magnify our Savior.
Try this: Read Ephesians 4:17-32 together. Discuss together one way the Holy Spirit can overhaul your communication in marriage.
GO
Submit to God in prayer; then review your communication with each other.
What are some of the best words you have heard from me? How did those words make you feel?
What are some words that you have not enjoyed from me? Where can I ask forgiveness and commit to removing those words or phrases?
Give time and space for this exercise. Do not try to justify or explain; just acknowledge and seek understanding.
Where can the two of you begin a new communication dance (even flirtation) with your words? Can you text two appreciations every Monday? Two fond memories on a Thursday? Can you play a scenario or “would you rather” game for 5-10 minutes a week?
WORKOUT
OVERTIME
“Lord, give us by Your Spirit words to build one another up and strengthen our marriage. Forgive us for the times we divest and damage with our words. Guide our communication journey to Your Glory. In Jesus’ name, amen.”