One day in 1671, Christopher Wren observed three bricklayers on a scaffold, one crouched, one half-standing, and one standing tall, working very hard and fast.To the first bricklayer, Christopher Wren asked, “What are you doing?” to which the bricklayer replied, “I’m a bricklayer. I’m working hard, laying bricks to feed my family.” The second bricklayer responded, “I’m a builder. I’m building a wall.” But the third bricklayer, the most productive of the three and the group’s future leader, replied with a gleam in his eye, “I’m a cathedral builder. I’m building a great cathedral to The Almighty.”
Which bricklayer best describes the perspective you have for your marriage? Are you investing in your marriage to survive? Are you investing in your marriage because you know you need to, or can you see the potential you have together? The third bricklayer saw the greater potential in what he was doing and, most importantly, for whom he was doing it. One of the most important skills we can have is to see the greater potential in a person, place, or thing.
The greater potential opportunity you have in marriage will come from having a Christ-centered marriage.Jesus tells us in the aforementioned scripture that He is the light of the world and when we follow Him, we won’t walk in darkness. When we choose to have Christ as the center of our marriage, we don’t have to worry about journeying through it alone. As a couple, remain totally dependent upon Jesus as the light of your relationship.He will guide your union through every situation, that includes faith, family and finances. Darkness mentioned in John 8:12 may come from lack of clarity in certain areas, running from God and relying on your own strength instead of running to the Father. You have a friend in Jesus, trust Him in good and bad times.
As a coach, you know the importance of growth, development, hard work, discipline, and the intentionality it takes to experience something greater in your sport. If we are honest, applying those same principles to your marriage can be challenging. The pressure of your season record, on top of the daily stresses of housework, kids, and financial responsibilities, can rob you of the potential God has for your marriage. In John 8:12, Jesus says, “I am the light of the world. Anyone who follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” Greater potential comes in finding your identity in Jesus Christ individually and as a couple. As husband and wife, your standards for marriage rest on God’s design for your faith, family, and finances.Serve together as unto the Lord.
The potential you’re striving for in marriage will also start with teamwork. Former NFL head coach Tony Dungy and his wife, Lauren describes a great marriage as one that is Christ-centered. They say that putting Jesus Christ at the center of their lives and knowing how to work as a team are the keys to a great marriage. This husband-and-wife team acts with “SOUL,” which is an acronym that the Super Bowl-winning coach uses to describe how successful teams work. SOUL is an acronym that stands for selflessness, ownership, unity, and a larger goal. As great team members, commit to your roles and responsibilities as husband and wife. Even the parts of marriage you may not like, your commitment to them allows you to remain selfless and see the greater purpose.
In each topic:
Share where you believe God is leading you individually and as a couple.
Share what stood out to you from each of the stories in God’s Word.
As a Christian coaching couple, consider how your faith affects your potential. How can you strengthen your faith and grow together to expand your by walking following Christ?
Answer these questions together:
Can you identify with one of the bricklayers? Which one are you?
How do you think the Lord is leading you and your spouse to greater potential in your marriage?
How can you make God known through your marriage?