Did You Say Surgery?
How to deal with painful injuries and broken dreams.
God turns setbacks into setups.
You should expect your child to get injured. It’s going to happen. We had four children who were all athletes, and we dealt with injuries including front teeth knocked out, multiple concussions, a broken foot, a dislocated finger and thumb, two shoulder surgeries, two knee surgeries, a broken nose… you get the picture. How you deal with your child’s injuries will set the tone for how your child deals with their injuries. Sports injuries sometimes cause dashed dreams, and broken dreams are a big deal. Helping your child navigate broken dreams should be your priority.
The day my daughter was told she made the varsity basketball team as a high school freshman, she tore her ACL. She was devastated; her 9th grade year was one of the most difficult of her life. We had no manual for parenting a 15-year-old athlete through zero sports participation, knee surgery and rehab over 12 months. She faced mental, physical and spiritual challenges.
After surgery, I committed to be her rehab coach. I took her to multiple physical therapy sessions for two months. Once released from PT, we would go to a gym after school where I coached her through painful exercises her physical therapist taught us. During those months, my daughter and I developed an unusually strong bond. We saw each other at our worst: She was distressed, and I pushed her through it. But I also saw my daughter at her best: determined, strong and persevering. The qualities she developed during that year are the same qualities she demonstrates today as she serves on the mission field in North Africa. God took a terrible situation and used it to prepare her for even more challenging circumstances she would encounter later. God allowed me to experience a closeness with my daughter that would not have otherwise happened without ACL rehab.
My daughter’s injury kept her from becoming the basketball player she dreamed of, but it contributed to a resilience which has benefited her in her Kingdom work. My daughter’s basketball dreams were replaced with a bigger dream to serve God on the mission field. Redirected dreams are equally hard on both athletes and their parents, but hard is not bad. Would you pray right now and ask God to help you help your child turn their setbacks into setups?
Bible Study
What stands out about the character of God in these verses? (Try finding more than one characteristic of God.) How does God’s character bring you comfort and/or peace? (Be specific, using a current situation in your life.)
What is the main truth being expressed in Romans 8:28? How does that truth help you parent your child through a setback like a sports injury?
Which of the verses provided seem to be speaking to your heart the most? Explain why.
What is one big idea or main takeaway you might apply to your own life, from the Scriptures provided?
Practice Session
If your child’s injury has altered their participation, it has most likely impacted their dream for playing sports. Have a conversation with your child about dashed dreams. Share something from your own life about when you had to recover from the death of one of your dreams.
Are you showing compassion to your injured child, or have you told them they need to “gut it out” or “suck it up.” You might consider erring on the side of compassion.