NO COMPARISON
She’s better than you … You could easily outplay her … She can lift more … There’s no way she could beat your time … She was recruited to more schools than you … She comes from a family of athletes … You have more medals than she does ...
How many times a day do you have thoughts like these? In an environment that’s already based on competition it’s easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves to others—both our opponents and our teammates. After all, everyone else (media, opponents) is comparing you to others, so why shouldn’t you join in?
While it’s true that some comparisons in sports are necessary (e.g. how you’ll match up against the girl you’ll be guarding), the concept of comparison itself is incredibly tricky. It must have healthy boundaries that are rooted in helpful facts, and it must carry zero weight regarding how valuable you are as a woman. Anything more, and it will be used as an agent of destruction against your identity in Christ.
As an athlete, who do you compare yourself to the most? Why?
How do the comparisons affect you mentally?
THINK IT THROUGH
The stat sheets don’t lie. When you line yourself up against an opponent or a teammate, you can see a certain bit of truth. One of you has scored more points on the season or has a higher batting average, and that’s just a historical fact. If you take this fact and use it appropriately, it can help you determine important sports variables such as who should guard a certain member of the opposing team, who should bat third or fourth in the lineup, who should run which leg of the relay, etc. Those are crucial numbers in planning for victory, and you and your coaches have to take note of them if you want to win.
This is the kind of sports comparison that’s positive. If we don’t lay out the numbers and physical stats, we’ll wind up with a point guard posting up against a forward and a setter starting at middle hitter. But where comparison gets out of bounds is when we start taking it personally.
We start using the numbers as validation to either think more highly or poorly of ourselves than we should. She’s got a higher average than I do, therefore I’m less valuable. Or, I was All-Conference last season, so I’m worth more than she is. And both of those attitudes take us farther away from the women Christ wants us to be.
First, when we use comparisons to berate ourselves or beat ourselves up, we put more weight on what the stats, the world or the enemy says about us than what God does.
Fact: God says we are…
His wonderful creations.
worthy of being called His children.
created in His image
worth dying for.
And no stat or opinion in the world can touch those. They’re absolutely true if we are in Christ.
When we let our athletic comparisons dictate our value overall, we disregard and cheapen what our Father says is true about us.
We give in to the enemy who whispers in our ear that we have to prove something or be better than someone to be worthwhile as a woman. That. Isn’t. True. We are worthwhile as women because we are God’s daughters, created in His image and redeemed by the blood of His Son. And that has nothing to do with a stat sheet. Just because your rival can run faster or jump higher does not mean she’s in any way more worthy than you.
Think of a time when you let a negative comparison damage your self-worth. What were the consequences?
What would have been a more spiritually healthy mindset to adopt?
On the other hand, if we allow the comparisons to elevate our opinion of ourselves based on how well we stack up against those who are less skilled, we fall into a different trap. We use a worldly system to find the worth and value that God intends for us to get from Him. It’s a false sense of worth that’s based on temporary things that can and will change with time, and we mustn’t rely on that to find our worth or we’ll be crushed when it departs.
Instead, we must learn to find ourselves in God as His daughters—totally and completely loved and adored by God, but none more so than the other.
Another consequence of letting our egos go crazy in comparison is that we lose touch with Jesus and His call to love and serve others in humility. We start believing we’re above others and deserve to be revered because we can do some physical skill better than they can. Where in the Bible does it say that she who can run the fastest is more valuable than those who are slow? Hint: It doesn’t. What it does say is that God loves all of His children equally and in the same way: totally and completely.
Think of a time when you’ve let comparisons make you prideful. What were the consequences?
Why does Jesus call us to be humble?
THE WORD
To better understand the dangers and drawbacks of comparison, and to get a better handle on how we should view ourselves in regard to others, let’s take a look at God’s Word.
KEY VERSES:
Read the following verses and record what each says about comparison:
TAKEAWAY POINT:
In sports, we’re going to face comparisons. But we don’t have to let them defeat us or damage our ability to live like and for Jesus. Instead, we can learn to think like a mature believer who knows who she is in Christ—that she’s worthy of His love and approval just because she’s His, not because she’s a good athlete. Then, when the comparisons come, we can use them to help us match up against the competition and, then, to let them go.
TEAM TIME
Come back together as a group and discuss the topic of comparison. It’s bound to have affected you all, so don’t feel ashamed if you struggle with it. (Shame isn’t from God, anyway.) Just be honest and let the Lord help you discover the issues and work through them together!
ACTIVITY:
As a group, open a discussion about the fine line between necessary and damaging comparison in sports. What kind of comparison is necessary? When does it become damaging? What Scriptures come to your mind in helping you distinguish between the two?
Using a whiteboard or flipchart, make a list of all the ways comparison creates spiritual, emotional or physical damage.
Turn the page or erase the board and start a new list. This time, make a list of all the damaging thoughts you have as a result of comparing yourself to others in sports. (e.g. “I’m a failure because I can’t do _________ like she can.” “I’m better than she is because I can...”)
Discuss the damage these thoughts create in your lives. How do they affect you as a team? How do they affect your relationship with Christ?
Using Scripture and what you know about God, create new, godly thoughts and write them beside the negative ones you listed from No. 3. Use these to help you start renewing your mind.
WORK IT OUT
Now it’s time to come together as a team and help each other fight the comparison battle. Select one or more of the following activities to complete throughout the next week to help you avoid adopting a false opinion of yourself and releasing your grip on your identity in Christ.
Post related Scripture verses in your lockers and on your locker room mirrors.
Text, Tweet, Facebook, Snapchat or Instagram encouraging verses to each other daily. (Almost any social media site will work.)
Divide into pairs and commit to quizzing each other three times in the coming week by posing hypothetical situations that help you develop healthy thoughts in the face of comparison.
Example:
Teammate 1: “What thoughts are spiritually healthy to think if you are named to the All-Tournament team and your rival isn’t, and what are some verses that apply?”
Teammate 2: (answer)
Teammate 1: “What thoughts are unhealthy in that situation?”
Teammate 2: (answer)
Memorize 2 Corinthians 10:12 or one of the other verses from this study.
RALLY CRY:
Once you have your plan of action, couple it with this week’s Bold and Beautiful Rally Cry. As a team, this will be your power phrase for the week. Repeat it when lies come to your mind; write it on your athletic tape; say it to each other; and remember the verses behind it.
“NO COMPARISON”
2 CORINTHIANS 10:12